The GM with the hottest seat around baseball is quite possibly Cubs General Manager Jim Hendry. Many die-hard Cub fans grow more and more impatient with Hendry’s lack of forward progress this offseason. While great potential future Cubs–Chone Figgens and Curtis Granderson–found new homes, Cubs fans feared the worst. Jim Hendry confirmed it himself at a press conference at Wrigley Field on Monday.
“Ya know, I got a lot of heat for getting rid of (Kerry) Wood and (Mark) DeRosa last offseason, so you know what, I’m bringing both of them back–so suck on these nuts Cub Nation. You guys thinks it’s so easy to manage a team’s payroll, I got nothing to work with here, they don’t even feed me.” One reporter quipped, “I would hardly call working on a third chin ‘starved’”, to which Hendry replied, “I would hardly call working for the Daily Herald a journalism job.”
Hendry continues to revert to the 2008 club that choked miserably in the playoffs by finally shipping Milton Bradley. “See, I got rid of a clubhouse cancer, I don’t hear any praise for that shit!” Hendry gobbled. Everyone in the room was so stunned that no one had reminded Hendry exactly who signed Milton in the first place, awkward.
“DeRosa, Wood, don’t think I’ll stop there, I got calls into Corey Patterson, Mark Prior and Jose Hernandez. I can’t wait to see the look on your smug, yuppie faces when that shit goes down”.
No word yet on when Don Baylor and Dusty Baker will be announced as Co-Managers.
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