After a couple years of vying for thee 2016 summer Olympics, beating out U.S. cities such as Los Angeles & San Francisco, visiting & studying the 2008 Beijing Olympics, enlisting a slew of high-profile supporters such as U.S. president Barack Obama, Michael Jordan, Oprah Winfrey, and Michael Phelps the city was eliminated from the candidate selection process in the first round in Copenhagen, Denmark. The International Olympic Committee, the body that organizes the games & selects the host cities, eliminated Chicago first, then Tokyo, and followed by Madrid leaving Rio de Janerio as the city to host the next summer Olympics four years after London hosts the 2012 games.
Not only was this a blow to the hopes of our city after we lost but the fact that it was in the first round does not leave much optimism for a repeat bid in a few years. Private financing supported the costs of the bid and the city planned on paying for infrastructure. Chicago mayor Richard M. Daley, insisted that no tax money would be used to pay for the city to host the 2016 Summer Olympic Games and said funding from the private sector and federal dollars for security and infrastructure would cover the costs. “Tax money isn’t paying for it,” Daley said on 2/7/09. “The federal government pays for security, which is the highest cost of the Olympics… The other thing they pay for is infrastructure… There’s no city tax money whatsoever… We are very strong in that position… in the regard to having that be sponsored by the private sector and others.”
After learning the city had been eliminated, Mayor Daley is reported to have been seen crying in a poignant embrace with Oprah. Already, Daley has been in the public eye for a few years playing a significant role in forwarding Chicago as the U.S. candidate city in order to further Chicago’s standing in the world, increase revenue for the city, and cement his political legacy. After being consoled by other Chicago 2016 members who flew to Copenhagen with him, Daley’s temperament turned from sad to angry… some may even say violent! He had to be restrained from pulling a Kanye West and jumping on stage to protest the defeat. Speaking of the rapper, West was also in attendance but had IOC armed security officials assigned to the out-spoken emcee incase he should interfere with the candidate selection process. Daley soon snuck backstage hoping to travel to the secret voting room to demand an answer from the IOC officials.
“How could those cowards not vote for our city,” Daley screamed before being met by armed security. “Come out here you weak, frog-eating, wine-sipping, American-hating, light in the pants Euro-trash wussies!”
Security persuaded the mayor to back off which is what Daley did but not before bitch-slapping a few of the IOC’s support and logistical staff. Daley reportedly punched a few innocent IOC bystanders in the face while cursing endlessly. He next decided to grab any piece of furniture he could find and handle and destroy it, throwing chairs, smashing lights, upending tables, and breaking TV screens. Security, prepared for an emotional outburst such as this, pulled out the tranquilizer guns and warned Daley, to no adherence, before firing shots. Daley was out cold after taking 4 tranquilizer shots to the ass. The press was ordered to refrain from reporting these events but theaveragechicagoan.com’s un-acclaimed reporter, Melvin Tittiwinkle, was able to message this story to us from Denmark.
Before passing out, our reporter Tittiwinkle quoted Daley as somberly saying, “Rio will rue the day it took my Olympics…”
-Portions in article paraphrased & quoted from Wikipedia and the Chicago Tribune.
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