| 1. Enough with the character bashing of Tiger Woods people! He’s a wealthy, powerful, good-looking, successful male athlete. What do you expect? I guess it has always been human nature to lash out at others for displaying the traits we most hate in ourselves. |
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| 2. So the Cubs finally got rid of troublesome and underperforming Milton Bradley. They traded Bradley, as Lou Piniella once referred to as “a piece of sh*t,” to the Seattle Mariners for Carlos Silva, another underperforming baseball player who is often injury prone and has attitude issues. Seems no one really benefits in the end. |
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| 3. No offense to the people serving in our armed forces but I’ve had enough of this country’s current attitude of treating soldiers as though they are above reproach. Now I wish all military servicemen, serving overseas, a safe return but when you arrive—you should be treated the same way as everyone else. A marine who has saved countless lives in Iraq who act’s like a douche is thus a douchebag. Period. |
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| 4. Public opinion says that it is pretty much impossible for anyone not to like a baby. Okay, well… I can say I like most babies except the ones that: smell bad, cry uncontrollably in a public place, puke all over you, and constantly gets into life-threatening situations when you give them free range. Also, ugly babies, deformed babies, babies who appear to be insomniacs, and dumpster babies (strictly due to the fact that they smell and are covered in trash). |
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| 5. Ok, I understand the holiday season is supposed to be about giving and being fortunate for all that you have. But I’m not ashamed to say I want back as much as I give to others. That’s the definition of karma right? And if I don’t get anything (or anything good at least) I’m going to be pissed! |
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| 6. Since we’re on the topic of giving, don’t you hate people who give you present that ends up being more of a burden than a gift? Example: A: “Oh, Merry Christmas! Here are some shoes I thought you’d like. I didn’t know your shoe size but you can go back to the store and exchange for the correct fitting pair with the gift receipt I included.” B: “Now I have to go back to the store and wait in an Exchanges & Returns line to get the same shoe that might or might not be available in my size? And by the way, I hate this shoe brand & don’t really need another pair, but they only give store credit.” |
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| 7. I’m beginning to notice that once you’ve delved into your senior years you end up losing a lot of shame. Examples: Older men stare longer and more blatantly at younger attractive women. Seniors don’t mind wearing ridiculously outdated clothing. Steal small items & if caught, fake dementia. Openly treat their adult children as if they were still little kids. Easy to guilt their kids. Insist on driving, usually at walking speed, instead of having a more able person help. When cranky, will snap at anyone. And do not seem to really care much of public opinion. Shorter Example: Cloris Leachman. |
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| 8. My favorite quote of the year from a celebrity thinking about quitting the show business: “As far as, like, quitting… it’s hard to have a normal family life in this business. I’d like to have kids and sit around with them and let them run around in the woods. Just not have to go anywhere. I wouldn’t mind them being wild. You’d come home & they’re up in the tree writing poetry. No Nintendo! Watch them grow up. Maybe shoot at them.” |
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| 9. Words of comfort as the season dwindles for Bears fans—At least we’re not the Cleveland Browns, Detroit Lions, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and the St. Louis Rams. We suck but not as hard as those teams! |
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| 10. Lastly, winner and recipient of Random Rant’s annual Douchebag/Asshole Of The Year (2009) goes to: JON & KATE GOSSELIN (why, this year, did we have to know so much about the lives of these people who’ve contributed so little to this country?)
Runners Up included:
- Milton Bradley
- Brett Favre
- Bernie Madoff
- Carrie Prejean
- Joe Jackson
- Roland Burris
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